These funny laffy taffy jokes will sure make you laugh. They are the best laffy taffy jokes you will find. Check out our awesome collection of Banker Jokes. Check out our collection of Funny Snow Jokes. Check out our awesome collection of Windows Jokes. Check out our awesome collection of Funny Christmas Quotes. Check out some interesting Quotes About Growing Up. Check out our awesome collection of Halloween Jokes about ghosts.
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If these reasons aren't good enough for you, get it because we're insecure and need your approval. Skip to content Hilarious Jokes and Funny Pics. Author Recent Posts. Roman Marshanski. This post has been created by Roman Marshanski, the founder of this site. He loves film, comedy, and innovative technology. He believes in bringing about positive change to the world through good-natured humor and innovative technology.
Latest posts by Roman Marshanski see all. Share the joy. Follow Us On Pinterest Follow us on Pinterest and we will love you with the unconditional love of a smelly dog. Free Stuff Now that we have your attention, get our awesomely funny app from Apple App Store for free.What did the fish say when he posted bail?
Cause they're afraid of the net Which fish can perform operations? A Sturgeon!HELLO BASHERS Reading mean comments - BRENDA MAGE
What do you call a fish with a tie? A Loan shark! How do you make an Octupus laugh? With ten-tickles Why did the vegan go deep-sea fishing? Just for the halibut!
Words in mOcean
Why don't fish play basketball? Because there afraid of the net. What do sea monsters eat? Fish and ships. What do you call a fish that needs help with his or her vocals? Autotuna Who do fish always know how much they weigh? Because they have their own scales. What is the difference between a piano and a fish?
You can tune a piano but you cannot tuna fish. Why did Sally go to the Lake after her brothers teased her? To fish for compliments.
What did the blind man say when he passed the fish market? Good morning ladies. What did the salmon say when he swam into a wall?
Some of the fishiest jokes around!
Whats the best way to catch a fish? Have some one throw it at you. How do you make a fish laugh? Tell a whale of a tale. What happens when you drink like a fish? You piss like a fire hose. Did you know the Octopus is the only fish that can squirt ink?
Just Squidding. What does the pope eat during lent? Holy mackerel! Why don't fish pass their exams? Because they work below C-Level.The type of human being we prefer reveals the contours of our heart.
Rachel: They asked me a lot of questions about you. I played dumb. Annabeth: Was it hard? God created seaweed… The seaweed made the world. We are not here in this world to drift like seaweed. Whatever intelligence we have, it is our duty to drive to the utmost. We have lingered in the chambers of the sea By sea-girls wreathed with seaweed red and brown Till human voices wake us It's better to wear seaweed socks than stick a melon in your brother's ear.
They do it in Thai restaurants in London. You ask for a drink, and it comes in a glass with loads of seaweed and pebbles in it like a scene from Finding Nemo. I have observed, on board a steamer, how men and women easily give way to their instinct for flirtation, because water has the power of washing away our sense of responsibility, and those who on land resemble the oak in their firmness behave like floating seaweed when on the sea.
Love comes into your being like a tidal wave Every time we walk along a beach some ancient urge disturbs us so that we find ourselves shedding shoes and garments or scavenging among seaweed and whitened timbers like the homesick refugees of a long war Mostly the animals understand their roles, but man, by comparison, seems troubled by a message that, it is often said, he cannot quite remember or has gotten wrong Bereft of instinct, he must search continually for meanings Man was a reader before he became a writer, a reader of what Coleridge once called the mighty alphabet of the universe.
Maybe i would become a mermaid I would have a doliphin friend. He would have merry eyes and thick flesh of a god. My fingernails would be tiny shells and my skin would be like jade with light shining through it I would never have to come back up. The bright, frosty day declined as they walked and spoke together. The sun dipped in the river far behind them, and the old city lay red before them, as their walk drew to a close.
The moaning water cast its seaweed duskily at their feet, when they turned to leave its margin; and the rooks hovered above them with hoarse cries, darker splashes in the darkening air. I discovered I scream the same way whether I'm about to be devoured by a great white shark or if a piece of seaweed touches my foot.
Comment not showing up? We read all comments before they appear live. I love these mermaid jokes and I love mermaids they inspire me I just want to be a mermaid I have always wanted to be one sense I was 10 I got me a deep sea blue mermaid tail that I practice swimming in all the time because my dream is to be a show mermaid at the aquarium in Florida. If u want to be a mermaid super duper bad then go to Fairy Truths on YouTube. Go check it out!! Mermaid Jokes Here are some great mermaid jokes to tickle your funny-fin at your next mermaid party or pod get-together.
Q: Where do mermaids see movies? A: At the dive-in! Q: Where does a mermaid keep her money? A: In the riverbank! Q: Where did the fisherman and mermaid meet? A: On line! A: Whale of Fortune!
Q: Where does a mermaid sleep? A: A waterbed! Q: What kind of phone does a mermaid use?
A: A shell phone! Q: What lies at the bottom of the sea and shakes? A: A nervous wreck! Q: Why did the mermaid swim across the ocean? A: To get to the other tide!
Q: What did the sea say to the mermaid? A: Nothing. It just waved. Q: Why do mermaids always know how much they weigh? A: They have their own scales! Q: Why did the mermaid ride a sea horse?
A: Because she was playing water polo! Q: Why was the mermaid embarrassed? Q: Which fish go to heaven when they die? A: Angelfish! Q: What does a mermaid wear to math class? A: Algebra!
Q: How did the mermaid afford her new house? A: She prawned everything!Have you heard about the restaurant that caters exclusively to dolphins? What did one flat-fish parasite say to the other at the end of their date? Did you hear about the red ship that collided with the blue ship? Why did the algae and the fungus get married? Did you hear about the lawyer who tried to sue a shark for biting all his limbs off? You are commenting using your WordPress.
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Notify me of new comments via email. Notify me of new posts via email. Why does it take pirates so long to learn the alphabet? Why are seabirds so lucky in love? Like this: Like Loading Why does the ocean roar? Leave a Reply Cancel reply Enter your comment here Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:. Email required Address never made public.
He has participated in and led dozens of oceanographic expeditions taken him to the Antarctic and the most remote regions of the Pacific and Atlantic. Additionally, Craig is obsessed with the size of things. Sometimes this translated into actually scientific research.
A penguin pulls into a garage to have his car fixed. The mechanic tells him that its going to be a while, so the penquin decides to waddle over to an ice cream shop for a treat. True penguin story. A friend of mine here in New Zealand had little blue penguins nesting under his house. They make a terrible braying noise at night like donkeys, and my friend was getting fed up with the disruption. I caught up with him later in the day — and to my surprise he still had the penguins in a cardbord box.
OK, I lied. And some more What did one tidepool say to the other tidepool? Show me your mussels. Where does seaweed look for a job? In the oceans, aliens lie hidden and waiting Weed of the Week: The Phycologist that Launched a Billion Dollar Industry Two California fishermen pretend they are maritime pirates and hold an oceanographic mooring for ransom The iPod of Thermocyclers. Did you hear about the seal that walked into the club?
Previous Previous post: Fearsome spiked tentacles of a deep-sea squid. Next Next post: Insane In the Chromatophores.Q: How do you know you are a true stoner? A: When your bong gets washed more than your dishes! Police Officer: "How high are you? A: Double jointed. Q: What do you call one bowl between three tokers?
A: Malnutrition. Q: Why is the roach clip called a roach clip? A: Because pot holder was taken Q: Did you hear about the kid that overdosed on weed? A: Neither did I. Q: What do you call a family that grows Marijuana in their backyard? A: A Joint Family. Q: What do you call a stoners wife? A: They both get smoked in bowls. If the whole world smoked a joint at the same time, There would be world peace for at least two hours.
Followed by a global food shortage. Q: What is a stoners idea of a balanced diet? A: A joint in each hand! Q: What do you call Harrison Ford when he smokes weed?
A: Han So-high Q: Why don't you see any pot heads in elementary school? A: A baked apple pie. Q: What did the stoners girlfriend say? A: Marijuana Q: What do get when you soak a spliff in Vodka? A: The Holy Spirit! Q: What do you call a potato that smokes weed? A: A baked potato.
Q: What is the difference between a drunk and a stoner at a stop sign? A: The drunk guy runs it and the stoner waits for it to turn green! Q: What do you call a stoner when horny?
A: A weed wacker! Q: What do you call a bunch of mexican stoners? A: Baked Beans.